"Few things are more beautiful to me than a bunch of thuggish, heavily tattooed line cooks moving around each other like ballerinas on a busy Saturday night. Seeing two guys who'd just as soon cut each others throats in their off hours moving in unison with grace and ease can be as uplifting as any chemical stimulant or organized religion."

-Chef Anthony Bourdain (Kitchen Confidential)

Thursday, October 28, 2010

The Main Event...

I picked up a book that Katie gave me several years ago, in it I had written a few kitchen tales. This one is a doozie...

It was almost closing time, I was doing some last minute cleaning and getting ready to call it a night. Just as I was heading out the kitchen door flys open, it was my 250 lbs brick shit house of a head server Luis, and he was pissed. He was yelling a fury of cus words in French, Spanish, Portuguese and Italian.

It was all over this goon named Niko that would come in once a week to do "business" with the manager. Niko was a real ball-buster and seeing his friend was the manager they would make Luis wait on them all night. The duo were both heavily intoxicated by now. As Luis is regaling me with the latest from Nikos antics the door to the kitchen crashes open almost off the hinges.

It was Niko, he was swinging an empty wine glass as he approached Luis and I. Luis jumped infornt of me to deal with him and I just watched in amazement to what happened next. Niko took one swing at Luis and like the last blow in a Rocky flick or Tyson slow motion video replay it was unforgettable. Luis ducked the punch and countered with a thunderous right hook that left poor Niko bouncing off the still swinging service door. A second later Niko laid half in and half out of the kitchen, out cold on the still wet floor. After a few blackout seconds on the floor Niko came to...singing a very different tune, Luis took him by the coat tails and tossed him out the receiving door. As Luis explained it best, "learning the respect sometime hurt you"

Thankfully for Luis, the manager was in the midst of haggling with the women of the night that Niko had dragged with him and missed the show in the kitchen. I'm not sure if Niko ever told anyone what had happened but the next time I saw him he had a very different attitude towards Luis and the wait staff.

I would not want to be on the receiving end of anything Luis tossed at me, he was like the Chilean's British Bulldog. But Luis was no thug...far from it. He was a 47 year old ex-sailor, who one day went a-wall and ended up at the port in Old Montreal.

Luis was an unbelievable friend to me, he was always there to lend an ear or a piece of advice when I needed it most. He often told me tails from his childhood that ranged from Chilean prisons to the sailing the South American Seas. I think Luis had seen it all, but the most memorable story he ever told me came as a bit of a confession over an espresso. With stunning detail he told me of a street fight he got into as a young man in Chili. During a pick up game of soccer he got into a scrap with some local boys. Defending himself with a shirt tied around his arm like a shield he single handed, took out 3 armed dudes and as he tells it...only one got away.

Thanks Amigo... you are a true friend.





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